GiveUP
Do you keep score?
I picked up the dry cleaning, bathed the kids, and scrubbed the toilet. He took out the trash. I'm ahead 3-1.
I made his favorite dinner and let him choose the TV show. He came home late from work. Me 2, Him 0.
It is tempting to compare and compete. During the early years of my marriage, I fell into this trap. I generously credited myself with every single contribution to our family and our marriage, and I recognized few of the offerings of the boy. I talked myself into becoming a martyr. Full of resentment and self-pity, I fed my "poor-me" mentality and failed to appreciate all of the his contributions. Bless his heart, I made both of us miserable.
I needed to GiveUP the competition. There are no winners in the game I was playing. If I won, we both lost.
Thank goodness I have matured over the past three decades. These days, I find it helpful to forget myself and intentionally look for the good in the boy. I am motivated to do so by love and a small white board, hung in our bedroom closet, where I write messages to him, thanking him for the gazillion things that he does for me and our family. "Thank you for taking care of dinner tonight." "Thank you for being patient when I was anxious." "Thank you for picking up the slack so that I could get my homework done." "Thank you for listening."
Rather than carefully tracking every investment in our marriage, we give gladly and wholeheartedly. We give everything we have and are. W. Wallace Goddard
As I have given up the me vs the boy mentality, our marriage has flourished. When I give, without measure, my heart is turned towards him. As I focus on appreciating his numerous efforts to bless my life, I am inspired to try harder and do better. My love runneth over.
Marriage UP
3 Things that can help you GiveUP keeping score this week
This podcast: Your Relationship is the Story you Tell Yourself.
Have the best week ever! Erin
Inspiration for this post came from this book
Hey, this is Liz Pollock from FAML 300. I thought of this post today and came back to quote it for my paper. Thanks for writing your thoughts freely and in a way I could remember in my moment of weakness!
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