ThinkUP

Memories make a marriage.

When we remember the beginning, the happy moments, the passion, the good times, the little things, those memories soften our hearts towards our spouse and help us navigate the tough stuff. 

Today the boy and I had a moment. We were talking, asking each other questions from this book by John Gottman, the objective to foster affection and connection in our marriage, and this question jumped out at us...

Have you stopped doing things together that you use to enjoy?

Several years ago, the boy and I use to ride bikes together. Multiple times a week. We rode 15, 20, 30 miles at a time. It was our thing. And then I went back to school and he changed jobs and we were busier and felt less connected. Our rides dwindled until they became rare semi-annual events. 

Today we quit talking, pulled on our biking shorts and jackets, pumped up our semi-deflated tires and hit the bike trail. We laughed as we inhaled the cool fall air and set our sights toward the train station which would be our turn around point. As we rode we were flooded with memories. We talked about the time a squirrel jumped out of the bushes and rode on my foot for a few freaky seconds, (yikes) the time we had to take a detour into a residential area because the bike trail suddenly ended, the time we rode a good distance to a favorite ice cream shop to find that it had been permanently closed. We remembered rides in the pouring rain, freezing cold and on perfect spring days. We rode 13 miles. It was exhausting and glorious. 

When our marriage is struggling, sweet memories are the currency that redeems our love. 

When we ThinkUP, reflecting on positive memories that validate our love, affirm our connection, and remind us of the whys, we become a better version of ourselves.

We are more tender, more grateful, more reasonable, more loving. We have another bike ride scheduled for Thursday. 

Marriage UP
3 Things you can help you remember to ThinkUP this week

This Advice: Reminiscing is good for marriage

This Blog: Memories that make us One

These Dates: Memory making fall dates

Ride on friends,  Erin
The Gottman Exercises that we were doing